Author of the Bio-fictional LGBTQIA+ Memoir ‘How Can We Be Wrong?’
How can we be wrong?
That’s a good question. Max Austin tries to find the answer, or answers, in his debut novel. The title, which comes from the line of a song performed at the very end of it, is a loaded one, full of implications: what’s right and what’s wrong? Who is to decide where the truth lies? And can the answer always be the same across time? Is there a unique answer or does it depend on the circumstances?
Each party will provide their own answers, supported by more or less strong evidence, and every person, according to personal taste, convictions and upbringing and dreams, hopes and desires will decide what to believe.
Right here, right now, though, we are discussing Austin’s perspective and story, and what comes out of it is a fictionalised memoir that was backed up by the LGBTQIA+ community and his fellow writers.
Austin is a NHS nurse and inclusion warrior in real life, and to protect the identities of some people and patient confidentiality, he changed some names, which I think is a brave choice. He could have left them out altogether, instead he found a way to disguise them with a magic trick that satisfies both readers and protagonists.
The story begins in the present time, when Max finishes his shift, jumps into his car and calls his husband to say he will be home soon. But on the way there he passes in front of the old hospital building, which will be soon demolished. Max, almost on a whim, stops the car and enters the building, that despite its poor conditions and the state of abandon, is still the same building it was more than 30 years before, when he started his nursing training. He can still distinguish the smells and the sounds, he still remembers where carts and trolleys were, he can also see the people that were there back then, translucent ghosts that have never left the place.
And there are some ghosts in the story, that maybe will find peace at the end of it.
As Austin explained during our conversations, those were difficult years to live in. Section 28 passed as law in May 1988, and it prohibited the “promotion of homosexuality” by local authorities, meaning schools. Children in school were bullied by peers, teachers couldn’t intervene and bullies felt legitimated in their behaviour. Outside school it wasn’t much better anyway: as Max experienced in his workplace, the stigma around being gay was strong and eradicated, as shown in one of the episodes narrated in the book. At that time, Max was dating a midwife whose name was Daniel, and when the news of his hiv-positive status broke, all hell came loose. The press was on it, making it an even bigger ruckus than what already was, the mothers-to-be were about to go crazy with fear, nursing staff revolted and Max and Daniel, caught in the vortex of this storm packed their belongings and left overnight.
There was no time to elaborate, recalls Austin, it just happened. Daniel had known for a year at that point, but he didn’t tell him anything, meaning he could have been exposed to the virus himself and be positive without knowing. That would have been a sadistic twist of fortune, but luckily it didn’t happen: Max’s pain lasted for a couple of weeks, while he waited for his own results, which came back negative. But that was only a small stone he took off his shoe, because his life was upside down. Despite being a nurse and being surrounded by nursing staff, which prodded themself to be non-judgmental and understanding, all he faced was shaming from his own colleagues that left him in an even darker pit that the one he already was in, that will push Max to self-medicate with alcohol and drugs.
As sad as it sounds, it’s still a harsh reality in the LGBT community: forms of self-harming behaviours are still a path many queer people walk. But it’s not the only way.
Max continues his journey with Daniel, until they reach the end of their rope: in between the treatment he is receiving at work, his own worries, the lack of lucidity brought by stress and an altered state of mind, and the fact that in all this Daniel was also seeing someone else behind his back, its too much for Max, who eventually packs his stuff and leaves.
It was hard, Max recalled during our interview; definitely it wasn’t an easy decision, made even more complicated by the big question ‘and now, what?’ It’s thanks to his friends, who became an important pillar in his life, that Max recovers and moves on. Life is full of surprises that come in different packages, some wrapped and some unwrapped, just like Wayne. The first time Max meets the person who will later on become his husband of over 20 years, he just came out from the shower, a towel dangerously balanced around his hips while he introduces himself to Max. Their connection is fast and strong, and the fact that they are still together proves it. Together they went through thick and thin, like the adoption of their two kids and the death of Jack, the job promotion that brought them to London and the work incident that provoked a mental breakdown for Wayne.
“But there’s always hope, and there will always be recovery,” says Austin. “There was therapy and there was my community around me, and now I am a nurse and a councillor myself, using my own experience to help and give hope to others. My book is exactly this, a space for others to feel safe and heard, and if with it could help even a single person, then my job is done.”
What lies in the future for Austin? More writing, surely, but not right away. “I will continue writing, definitely, maybe I will try my hand with fiction next time, but for now I will focus on my family and on promoting ‘How Can We Be Wrong’ as much as I can.”
We hope to get more news from Austin soon. In the meantime remember that “Where there is adversity, there can be hope. Where there is desperation, there can be healing. Where there is pain, there can be healing. Thank you for reading my story. Love, Max Austin.”
‘How Can We Be Wrong’ is available for purchase at: https://amzn.to/3xmukhZ
To know more about Section 28 in the UK, read here.
For more facts about AIDS/hiv you can check the World Health Organisation, NHS and National AIDS Trust if you are in the UK, HIV.org if you are in the US.
Remember to talk and remember you are not alone. There are plenty of resources nowadays, hiv is still scary, but it’s not a death sentence as it was when we grew up. It’s not a good excuse to be reckless, but now things can be done and help can be found. Don’t suffer in silence.
